Where Do I Belong?

I am finding myself at a crossroads. I have always written about magical creatures and such with the fight between good and evil. God being good. I still believe that He is, but I find myself wondering what He wants from me. I feel like I am doing His work for Him by writing about His love but many people believe that writing about dark issues, like witches, vampires, ghosts, etc. are all evil and that should not be written about from a child of God. I have called myself a Christian and prayed in Christian churches, though I don't believe everything that they stand for.

Bare with me for this is the first time I have ever publicly spoken of this. I believe in reincarnation, yoga, meditation, Christ being the son of God (not God), that LGBTQ deserve rights. I believe that God loves us all and that Jesus preaching His love is true and that we should accept everyone for who they are.

Maybe I'm not Christian. I don't know where I stand and I have never talked about this before. I feel so lost and I wish that there was a place for people like us. I cannot, with good mind, allow my books to be read by Christians because they will disagree and atheist will never like my work. Is there a place for someone like me?

I feel like I am struggling to find myself spiritually and I don't want to let God down. I want to find my truth. I am sorry for everyone reading this who thought that I was fully one way or the other. I am baptised as a Christian and I believe in Christ. I have never been publicly honest with any of my opinions because I have been so afraid of the people's reactions to it. I want everyone to like me, maybe because I have trouble liking myself. I always bite my tongue and allow others to tell me what to think and do.

For the first time, I am glad that no one reads my blogs and maybe someday this will come back and bite me in the butt, but I need to speak my mind. I write for those of us who know of God's love but maybe don't know anything else. if you are one like me then you may understand. As long as we know that we are not alone in this and that we have someone that we can look up to. God. Jesus.

I pray that all of you are okay and that you hold on to your beliefs and always grow. Never let someone tell you who or what you should be. Accepting something blindly will never get you to the end. Not everyone who seems to know knows. We all must grow and learn. I am too. As long as we follow in God's word, we will be okay. Hold Him in your heart. <3